A couple, Ethel and Bob, and their assorted kids, travel to California. And instead of just buying plane tickets and flying like a normal family would, they decide to instead drive through the rough, soulless desert in a camper.

While they’re traveling, they drive over a spike belt which flattens all the tires. Bob, the father, walks back to the gas station they passed by ages ago, and doesn’t think on how a spike belt got onto the road when it appears that this desert is inhabitable.

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There was a really long time where I was convinced that Shutter Island was just a series of really well made vignettes they played before actual movies in the theater. It took for fucking ever to actually be released and by the time it was, the already slim chance of me seeing it was gone. But here’s what I remember and what I’ve gathered from Wikipedia.

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A family moves into a house where everyone who’s lived there has been brutally murdered and/or committed suicide. Either no one tells them about it when they move in, or they’re told and they just don’t give a shit, and move in anyway.

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Basically what happens is there’s this girl Bella, who is pale even though she lives in Arizona, which I can relate to. Then she gets sent to live with her dad so her mom can more freely bang her jailbait boyfriend or something. We need to really heavy-handedly establish that Bella is endlessly self-sacrificing.

So she moves to the middle of nowhere, Washington, to live with her dad, who is a sheriff.

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This morning I (Andie) was talking to Murphy about trying to figure out what the movie “Silent House” was about via Wikipedia and IMDB reviews of the original that it’s based off. I am terrified of horror movies, but I always read about them and then end up trying to explain them to people. I do that with a lot of things, actually.

Murphy brought up how she always used to explain episodes of Lost to her friend, long after the friend had stopped watching the show.

If you’ve been following either/both of us for any decent amount of time, you know that we tend to get too involved in picking apart a song or a scene in a show or anything at all, really. And then bitch and make things up.

So we decided to subject all of you to it. Is there a movie that you’re curious about but don’t want to bother looking it up? Episode of a TV show you don’t understand or just didn’t see? A song you just want us to complain about? We’ll explain it for you! Maybe we’ve seen it, maybe we’ll find it, maybe we’ll just try to figure out what happened and summarize our findings.

Drop requests in the ask.

Disclaimer: This will all be highly inaccurate and/or sensationalized.